UPCOMING SHOWS

July 21st, 8:00pm
The Onion Comedy Series Presents:
The Dirty Birds Show!
The San Francisco Punchline
444 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA
$12, 2 drink minimum
Buy tickets now
Chris Garcia comedy dot com

Chris Garcia

May 15, 2008

Hotter than Heyyyy-des: Sean Keane and Chris Garcia discuss the San Francisco Heatwave

  • me: I really cant handle sf when it's hot. The outfits are ridiculous. Dickies turned shorts and derby caps, howard the duck tank tops, it makes me miss LA
  • Sean Keane: this is officially no-bra thursday in SF as well
  • me: hahahaha
  • Sean: In the castro, it's ok to wear a fishing hat in public
  • me: If at least 80 dudes wear fishing caps, they legalize gay marriage.
  • So, me and ali can legally wed now
  • Sean: does that mean previous outlaw wedddings are now legit?
  • this is going to be the gayest night in the castro since Badlands had Half-Priced Appletini and Free Butt Plug Night back in '05
  • me: yeah theyre legal now. it's called writ of fabulous corpus
  • Sean: we should start developing a gay divorce court show right now
  • me: Judge Nudy
  • maybe judge tootie?
  • judge foodie!
  • Sean: judge Foodie
  • i like it
  • played by Nato Green
  • me: naturally!
  • let's do this!
  • Sean: would he do food-related cases?
  • or just eat during his crappy small claims cases?
  • me: the defendant - blake lancerton, owner of man tan # 3 tanning salon on owner claims that "tran tan #3" is using a similar name to steal his transvestite client base
  • Sean: ha. and tran tan's owner claims their waxing and aromatherapy service differentiate them
  • me: we use tea tree oil and they use lavender (a tranny named LAVENDER)

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